A Concept by Ameya Dusane
We called him Lin. It was Lin who insisted that we call him Lin. Lin, based on his favorite book character. Lin had called me over today. I have known Lin since he was six. Whenever Lin had called me it was some matter of importance. Lin looked distressed. He said, “I have not been able to sleep for the past week. All I do is, just lie down and stare at the ceiling. And whenever I try to sleep Cold Fish’s memory haunts me. The day I returned from Cold-Fish’s funeral I dreamt about Cold Fish. He was staring at me from the mirror. I couldn’t sleep that night.”
That was the last time I had spoken with Lin. But then things started to worsen for Lin. He was no longer attending college. He had cut off himself from his family and friends. It had been over a month since he had locked himself in his room. I was worried as I didn’t know how long it would last. What made it harder was Lin too was staying away from his family.
However, things changed for Lin. He started to attend college with more enthusiasm .But I knew there was something wrong. I had asked Lin what had changed, was he over Cold-Fish’s death but he managed to avoid the topic every time I bought it up. I was worried that Lin might be consuming drugs but it was unlikely as he didn’t have that kind of money. So then what made Lin change? I was curious to find out.
Lin hadn’t called me to his place for a month. People, who knew me and Lin, would know that, if we both were to find, we would be at Lin’s place. So I decided to give him a surprise visit. I knew Cold Fish’s chapter was not going to end so easily. Especially for Lin. My entire unanswered questions were answered.
I found that Lin too had started to follow the path of Cold Fish. Lin had started to drink his own blood. There was blood everywhere as I entered the room. Meanwhile Lin had passed out. After returning to life I asked Lin the same question he had asked Cold Fish as to why he hurt himself? Unlike Cold Fish, Lin had answered “It gives me sense of power and control. Also when I cut myself the pain makes me feel alive. And once you experience pain like this, there is no problem which looks big. Blood has become my drug,” Lin said.
I had my own fears after finding out that Lin was following footsteps of Cold Fish. And Lin too would end life the way Cold Fish did. I didn’t want Lin to waste his life. So after speaking to a psychiatrist and explaining all the symptoms of Cold Fish and Lin. The psychiatrist informed that Lin was suffering from disease called Clinical Vampirism or Renfield's Syndrome. It’s a rare psychiatric disorder in which the sufferer feels a compulsion to consume blood. Its consumption can stimulate a sense of power and control. As Lin had said, “It gives me a sense of power and control”. Although the disorder has never been categorized in the DSM-IV Renfield’s Syndrome is classified as schizophrenia or paraphilia. The only silver lining was Renfield’s Syndrome was treatable.
It was after lot of convincing Lin agreed to see a psychiatrist. And today was my last session with my psychiatrist.
Who am I?
I am Cold-Fish also known as Lin.
I forgot my own identity.
So in this world of Who is Who, you better have your own identity. Once u lose yours, you are lost, and there you are, back in the queue to rediscover who you are and gain a place in the world of Who is Who?